You stole my dog.
You stalk me at church.
You peep on me through my window and watch me jack off.
How many videos did you make of me jacking off in your folder? How many dozens?
You've been trying to get me to kill myself or others for years. What the fuck were you expecting?
You make fun of me for jacking me off in my own way but you repeatedly watch me. And somehow I'm supposed to feel bad for jacking off how and when I want?
Your high horses aren't invisible.
They don't exist.
Remember that the next time you have enough "balls" to talk shit to me just within earshot in the store. Yeah, real tough calling me a fag from over there. I'm a fag and you're a coward. Remember that when you mean mug me from your motorcycle. I'm a closet fag and you like to watch me jack off.
I've drawn a nasty picture or two or three in a special folder for when I felt pretty damn low, (you know this, it's your game). You watched me make them. You've seen my entire library. I felt like being disgusting and I used plenty of straight porn reference to do it. I know you know that because you watched me. I'm not sorry for jacking off.
Before I forget. If you're on TV I'm assuming it's only natural for you to think that you're hot shit but don't fucking lecture us about justice when you're basically part of a sex crime ring who illegally watch me jack off. You and your friends. Explain to me how I'm wrong but before you do I want you to say it out loud to yourself alone in a quiet room. How does it sound? Keep in mind bullying someone to kill themselves or others is also attempted murder, it doesn't matter when you picked up the torch. Zero points to Lizard-lips and Butt-brow on team Jeepers Creepers[Peepers] with their self titled advanced logic. Minus points to everyone for outing me for being gay/bi and using it to bully me in addition to the attempted murder. This is the same brand and style of shit that has been going on since '08 and if you think we wouldn't be right here in this position doing this same shit right now because things would somehow be different if I hadn't done anything you're wrong. Whatever you say is just to justify years of attempted murder. Stalking. Harassing. Peeping. Terrorizing.
Also, I'm taking your power away by saying here that I might or might not be half gay. I could see how I could be confused... I mean, in the past I've felt pretty much how I do about it now. It isn't for me. I mean, sitting in here by myself for years looking for something new to arouse me because playing with my dick is a fun way to pass time, but how I really feel about it... Given past experience I seriously doubt it. But I could be. It doesn't mean I want to fuck everyone or anyone. Nor is there any way in hell I'd pass on women for men. No way. I mean, are you using your eyes? Psychologically I'm taking it in the butt every day. I'm sure that has something to do with it.
BOOM! I sunk your battleship. I'm half gay and you are no longer able to make fun of me for being ashamed about it and/or trying to hide it. I'd still kick your ass Butt-Brow, I don't give a shit how many or what kind of magazines you edited. In fact, I'd eat your fucking face and the cops would have to shoot me ten or eleven times to get me to stop shitting your face back on your face. Everyone would know that you got pwned by a fag then maybe you could kill yourself for a change. All of you.
This might not be a related point. Isn't everyone a little bit gay? No one can tell me there is an amount of money they'd say no to. I haven't even said a number and you though about how much you'd ask for while reading this. I'm pretty sure that everyone would be gay for $100,000,000. Unless you already have a ton of money. I don't mean conditionally that the terms would have to be forever or anything. Just one time, let's say. Yeah, your friends could make fun of you. You might feel like right now you'd let your family down somehow. But that isn't a lot of money. It's more than a lot of money. I think people would be stupid to not tell a disappointed family "Yeah, I'm sorry you think it's gross. Thank god that's over. But heeeeellllllll yeaah! Let's buy some Apache helicopters!" Right? I thought so. (note: helicopters used for creative example. Wah. Also: IT IS NONE OF MINE OR ANYONE ELSE'S BUSINESS whether or not you'd accept $100,000,000 for whatever.)
For years I've heard people try to sleight me by saying they always thought I was bi. Well, at least now you're a quarter right. I mean, all the opportunity I've had and I've known some really great people and it isn't like the opportunity wasn't there for those willing. I can't say I never considered it but I can say I've never felt like it. That last sentence is very important. So, congrats. You win... uh... something not good.
Bah, enough ranting. Just like old times, eh? Don't even get me started on what I think of my brain. (Seinfeld can say it but people scoff and roll their eyes when I do and I said it first.) Who wants to read eight or nine paragraphs about that? Not me.
I was on an art roll over the summer but then I saw what other people I like are doing. My eyes eating starburst and skittles is what looking at their art feels like. Then when I look away my eyes shoot laser beam prisms from the overload.
I might post some old stuff for a comic book idea that I had. It derailed... Angrily, it remains derailed, I don't want to talk about it.
I still dance around my room (with spirit fingers) on occasion and Ginyu Force pose and laugh at myself in the mirror because there are parts of me you'll never take. If that's all I have left then so be it. It keeps me from doing more of what you want or worse.
And if theres a chance that someone finds my art entertaining and it helps them through some shitty shit like those guys helped me when I was younger then that would be a nice plus.
If only there was a way to go back.